


Of Old and Odd Traditions

by weirdlywisely



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern with Magic, Established Relationship, Gen, Multi, Non-binary Oikawa, Polyamory, death spirit matsukawa, mage hanamaki, non-binary Matsukawa, shapeshifter iwaizumi, witch oikawa
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-18
Updated: 2016-05-18
Packaged: 2018-06-09 06:58:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,679
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6894682
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/weirdlywisely/pseuds/weirdlywisely
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Matsukawa has a strange job and an even stranger boss that loves traditions, and Oikawa doesn't seem to ask the right person for advice.</p>
<p>Or the modern magic AU where Mattsun job has really changed throughout the centuries, and Oikawa doesn't trust the right member of their family</p>
            </blockquote>





	Of Old and Odd Traditions

**Author's Note:**

> will i ever stop writing polyamory ? nah  
> i've wanted to write a matsuhanaiwaoi and a magic au for ages and well there it is !  
> also there are more dialogues there than i usually write that was weird... idk i'm not used to that

“Makki ! Did you see the bones ? I swear I put them in the study !”

 

Hanamaki passed his head through his own study room to watch Oikawa searching frantically around the living room. They were moving all small objects in the living room, which amused Hanamaki grandly. He stayed silent for a few moments before someone from the other side of the apartment shouted.

 

“For fuck's sake Hanamaki ! Give them back before they start trying to do some blood magic ! And shut up !”

 

“I can't !” Oikawa shouted back. “I need to master bone magic before !”

 

Hanamaki snickered a bit before he threw a small bottle to them. Oikawa was surprised by the sudden throw and juggled a bit with the bottle before they managed to catch it safely. They looked at it to make sure they had the bones necessary for their work. They frowned and turned towards Takahiro again.

 

“Did you use one of those ?”

 

“Yeah, I take the same class, don't you remember.”

 

“But your teacher is known for asking to work with animals bones at first.”

 

“And ?” Hanamaki inquired frowning. He didn't get what Oikawa was getting at.

 

Oikawa laughed a little at Hanamaki's face. He looked so lost like he didn't get what was wrong. Then it was like the realization it him. He looked at the bottle like it was something that personally offended him. He scrunched his nose, disgusted.

 

Hanamaki was about to express his indignation and disgust when Matsukawa entered the apartment cutting him off. They put down their bag on the floor, next to the couch before they flopped down onto it, sighing tiredly. Takahiro went to sat down beside them while Oikawa sat on their other side. Both of them waited for Matsukawa to vent. Issei wasn't one to come home that tired unless there was something that happened.

 

Hanamaki started to caress their tight, hoping that the continuous motion would make them relax, at least a little.

 

“Where's Hajime ?” they asked, curious.

 

“Studying for his anatomy exam or something I think,” Oikawa answered.

 

Both Hanamaki and Matsukawa nodded. That made sense as to why he was frustrated by the noise Takahiro and Tooru made when they experimented with magic. His major wasn't easy and he needed to concentrate and his datefriends didn't help him focus on his classes.

 

“So what happened Issei ?” Takahiro asked.

 

A sight escaped their lips and they threw their head back against the back of the couch.

 

“You know my boss is a Dullahan right ?”

 

“The creepy headless person ?” Hanamaki asked.

 

“The one whose head and creepy grin gave me nightmares ?” Oikawa asked at the same time.

 

A small laugh escaped Matsukawa but they nodded nonetheless.

 

“Yeah, well my boss told me that I didn't take my job seriously. And that I needed to follow the procedure more rigorously.”

 

“The procedure ?” Oikawa asked, not aware of everything about Matsukawa's job. Hanamaki knew about it as he and Issei had known each other for years and he had already been told about the ins and outs of their job.

 

“The procedure from centuries ago. Like being on a horse or something and always moving and stopping in front of the person who was going to die next. It might have worked centuries ago but now it's just dumb. I don't get why they're so attached to this stupid Dullahan tradition,” Issei ranted annoyed. “Like no one does that anymore.”

 

“Did you really do that ?” Oikawa asked amused at the thought of Matsukawa moving around wildly before they stopped and telling someone that they're dead.

 

Hanamaki and Oikawa exchanged an amused look, the same thought seemed to have passed through both their minds.

 

“I may have tried that a few years ago. But people don't react the same as they did centuries ago.”

 

“Oh ?” Hanamaki urged them to keep telling their story. He didn't hear this one and he was really curious about it.

 

Matsukawa stayed silent for a few moments. Enough for Iwaizumi to join them in the living room, looking exhausted and stressed. He sat down next to Oikawa and slumped against them, half dozing off.

 

“Don't fall asleep yet Hajime, Issei is going to tell us a story,” Hanamaki called.

 

“Aren't you too old for bedtime stories ?” Iwaizumi mumbled, his eyes were closed.

 

“Someone's grouchy,” Oikawa laughed.

 

Hajime didn't answer, he was way too tired by his day spent studying to argue with them. So he just moved a bit more, snuggling more comfortably against Oikawa's side.

 

“Well,” Matsukawa cut the silence to start talking. “A few years ago I was told to go retrieve someone's soul, and the boss told me to be serious because it was the first one I had to retrieve in decades.”

 

They paused while Hanamaki snickered at the idea of Matsukawa being serious.

 

“Don't laugh asshole, I'm a serious worker,” they said punching him. “But yeah, I decided to be more traditional, so I went with the grim look and all that shit.”

 

“Wow Mattsun, so scary,” Oikawa teased.

 

“Don't tease you asshole, you did worse,” Iwaizumi said loud enough for all three of them to hear.

 

“No I didn't !” Tooru exclaimed.

 

“The heart thing,” was Iwaizumi only response but Oikawa's paling face was enough of an answer.

 

“Heart ? That's a story I want to hear,” Hanamaki remarked.

 

Hajime nodded but stayed silent, waiting for Matsukawa to keep on telling their story.

 

“So I went to see the guy, it was an old human so I thought he'd come easily. I told him that I came for him and he looked at me and said 'that's nice, I don't have a lot of visits anymore.' So I tell him I'm here for his soul, and he tells me he doesn't believe in the existence of souls.”

 

They stopped their story as Oikawa and Hanamaki were already laughing quite a bit. Iwaizumi was laughing under his breath, but it was nothing compared to Oikawa and Hanamaki. They could all imagine the scene. Matsukawa dressed in a stereotypical grim riper outfit in front of an old man who just talked back to them, not even bothered by what happened.

 

“So,” they started again after they all stopped laughing. “I told him that he was dead, and he just responded 'you know, I feel pretty alive' I'm just trying to do my job I don't need a bothersome old man sassing me.” Matsukawa paused to take a breath.

 

They all stayed silent. Iwaizumi was completely asleep, or at least he mostly was. Oikawa was caressing his hair, smiling softly. And Hanamaki was trying to keep himself from commenting or making a bad joke that would end up with Matsukawa or Oikawa throwing something at him.

 

Matsukawa threw him a quick glance that was telling him to not even dare opening his mouth.

 

“He ended up coming with me, but it seems that humans aren't what they used to. Like a few centuries ago, humans just dropped dead when we arrived. Or they came willingly. But now even humans are bothersome.”

 

“Even humans ?” Oikawa asked surprised by their use of words.

 

“Yeah, usually humans are easier to deal with when they're dead. Magical creatures are more annoying, that's why I don't deal with them.”

 

“Witches are always the worst,” Hajime said, surprising the three others who thought he was asleep.

 

“Iwa-chan ! Rude !”

 

“A heart Tooru, a heart,” Iwaizumi said desperately.

 

“Yeah what is this heart thing you keep talking about ?” Hanamaki asked, he was curious about that, although it sounder a bit disgusting.

 

“No no no ! Iwa-chan you promised me we would never talk about that again !” Oikawa screamed while they moved their arms around trying to divert their attention.

 

“And I think it's a good idea to tell them what they had the chance to escape.”

 

“I already told you I was sorry !”

 

“Guys, I love you really, but please can you tell us ?” Hanamaki interrupted.

 

“You really want to know about Tooru's terrible seduction techniques ?”

 

“Now that's interesting,” Matsukawa said smirking at an embarrassed Oikawa.

 

They all moved a bit more on the couch to get more comfortable. Iwaizumi straightened up and stretched a bit, making his joints crack. That sound made the three others scrunch their noses. The sound of cracking bones was quite disturbing. Then he settled back on the couch. Oikawa tried to run away but Matsukawa had anticipated their move and just wrapped their arms around Tooru to prevent them from moving. And Hanamaki, for good measure, just jumped on the both of them so they couldn't move.

 

“Get off Makki you're heavy !” Tooru complained, trying to get away.

 

Matsukawa put one of their hand on their mouth to keep them from talking, or at least making much noise. Then Hanamaki actually advanced to cross his arms on Iwaizumi's laps and rest his head on them. He looked up to Iwaizumi, waiting for him to start talking.

 

“You know Tooru's mom is a witch and their dad is a human, right ?” Iwaizumi asked, to make sure they were all on the same page. Takahiro and Issei both nodded, of course they knew, they even met them. All of them met all of each other's parents.

 

“Well,” Iwaizumi smirked at bit, “do you know who their mom asked help to seduce their dad ?”

 

“Tooru's grandmother ?” Hanamaki guessed, after he had heard Tooru talk about her a few times in the past, so it was more probable that it was her than their grandfather.

 

Hajime nodded and started to laugh. Matsukawa and Hanamaki exchanged an inquiring look. They didn't understand what was so hilarious. Oikawa managed to get Issei's hand away from them and answered their unspoken question.

 

“My grandma died twenty years before my mom met my dad.”

 

Hanamaki furrowed his eyebrows not understanding how that was possible while Matsukawa started to blink, searching in their memory how it might have happen. Then it hit them.

 

“A witch can stay 'alive' when they're dead, right, that's why it's so annoying to get their souls,” Issei remembered.

 

Oikawa nodded. “Yeah, dead witches are still somewhat conscious. It's a bit strange. And they aren't always friendly or anything,” they explained.

 

“Wait, did you ask help from a dead witch ? Your dead grandmother ?” Hanamaki asked incredulous.

 

Oikawa nodded embarrassed. It had seemed a good idea at the time. Their mom did the same and she was happily married to their dad. So yeah, they thought that it would be helpful to ask her for help. They had heard so many good things about her and about how she always gave good advice so they went to see her.

 

“Grandma was a wise witch, and mom trusts her,” Tooru trailed off.

 

“She tried to eat me when I first saw her,” Iwaizumi reminded.

 

“I was told that, being some sort of shapeshifter, you smell like you'd be good to eat.”

 

“Who said that ?”

 

“One of the oldest dead witch. I'm not sure if they're still there nowadays.”

 

“Okay this is all fun but what did your grandma suggest. Because other than you trust some sort of undead witch that eat people alive we didn't get anything,” Takahiro called them back.

 

“And I think we should also doubt all your choices, because dead witches are really dangerous,” Issei added.

 

Oikawa mumbled something under their breath, embarrassed. They thought this incident wouldn't come back to embarrass them once again.

 

“'Show them your devotion and passion by giving them a beating heart' that's what she said to both Tooru and their mom,” Hajime was still laughing as he tried to find his calm once again. “And they both listened to her.”

 

“You didn't ?” Both Issei and Takahiro exclaimed.

 

“It wasn't as bad as it could have been !” Tooru defended themselves.

 

“You gave him a bleeding heart but at least it wasn't beating ?” Matsukawa asked amused.

 

“Why are you so morbid ? I'm sure you didn't give him a real heart,” Hanamaki nodded to himself confidently.

 

“Nah, they did give me a real heart,” Iwaizumi refuted Takahiro's thoughts.

 

Hanamaki looked at Oikawa as if a second head just grew on them. Who actually gave a heart, a true heart that belonged to someone or something, to someone they wanted to date ? Oikawa and their family apparently.

 

“Don't look at me like that ! My mom did the same, and my grandma too ! And her parents too ! And my ancestors too ! It's a family tradition !” they tried to justify themselves.

 

“So you gave our dear Hajime a human heart ?” Matsukawa asked.

 

“No ! I'm not a savage ! It was some kind of animal,” Oikawa mumbled the last part.

 

“And Issei and I didn't get a heart ? Don't you love us ?” Hanamaki teased all the while posing dramatically as he turned to face them.

 

Oikawa opened their mouth to answer because that wasn't true at all. It was just Iwaizumi's reaction to receiving a heart actually showed them that perhaps following dead witches advice wasn't the best idea they might have had.

 

Iwaizumi actually smirked. “Oh you know, meeting the grandma might be as interesting. What do you say Tooru ? Would she like to meet them ?” If he had to go through the traumatizing meeting with the dead witch, why wouldn't the two others do so too ?

 

“I'm sure she would like you two !” Oikawa smiled. “But perhaps she will try to attack you Mattsun. Or perhaps the other old dead witches will ?”

 

“If we come and meet the old thing, you won't hide some weird and potentially disgusting family traditions ?” Takahiro asked suspicious.

 

“I'll have to ask mom, she knows more about all that,” Oikawa shrugged.

 

“And Issei, don't ever try to follow your weird 'procedure' it doesn't suit you.”

 

“I don't intend to. This work is already boring enough, no need for it to become more ridiculous.”

 

All four of them stayed silent for a few moments. Hanamaki stood up and went to sit down on the couch next to Matsukawa, next to whom he was already seated before.

 

“Is it a good time to mention that my family has a history of drowning people they don't like ?” Iwaizumi wondered.

 

Both Takahiro and Tooru looked at him surprised. Issei raised an eyebrow, amused. Was tonight let's spill the weird stuff of families and jobs ? It seemed so. And to say they thought their job was odd at times, at least they didn't have weird family traditions. But that may be because they didn't really have a blood-related family.

 

“Don't worry,” he tried to reassure them. “They do like you so you're safe.”

 

“Am I the only one who doesn't have weird or life threatening family traditions ?” Takahiro asked incredulous.

 

“Your family is human, of course they aren't too threatening,” Oikawa noted offhandedly.

 

“Tooru,” he started sweetly. Too sweetly. “You want to test how non-threatening a human can be ?”

 

Oikawa raised their hands in front of themselves, an uneasy smile on their face. They had no desire to be the target of Hanamaki's pranks. Well, more of a target than usual. Especially if he teamed up with Matsukawa, and let's be honest that was going to happen and that wasn't looking good for them. The last time the two of them had hidden all their milk bread, and they couldn't go and buy more at that time. That had been a really hard week to go through.

 

“I'll buy you cream puffs ?” Oikawa tried to negotiate.

 

Takahiro nodded, but a glint in his eyes (and the smirk that didn't leave his face) told Tooru that no they weren't safe.

 

“Please don't touch my milk bread,” they pleaded.

 

“Oh you don't have to worry about that,” was Hanamaki's only reply.

 

Suddenly the thought of going to spend a week or two with dear dead witch grandma seemed to be a really good idea. That was that or endure one of Hanamaki's prank that had the ability to embarrass them enough that they considered not leaving the apartment for days or weeks.

 

They were going to book the earliest flight back home.

 

**Author's Note:**

> my [tumblr](http://weirdlywisely.tumblr.com/)
> 
> perhaps i'll write more of this ?? idk i have started another one shot but with another pairing i'll just have to see if i can finish it hahaha


End file.
